*upon entering our home, you will be greeted by a rambunctious smallish dog and a literal herd of cats (how many of one thing does it take to equal a herd? maybe it's just a pack of cats.). they will require your attention because you've entered not only my home, but theirs. Lucy wants head scratches; Stella wants to hear how very pretty she is; Luna wants you to recognize that she doesn't show up for just anyone, so consider yourself graced, dammit; Edgar desperately wants for you to ignore him so that he doesn't have to leave his current napping position; if you hang out long enough for the kittens to hear the rumor that you don't suck, Renny & Elphie may make an appearance so that you can see for yourself how stinkin' cute they are.
*once you've done the requisite head-patting and cooing, you'll surely notice that you have to step over Lucy's woobie and around Stella who's not done being pretty; you'll notice the fur-bunnies rolling across the floor like fluffy tumbleweeds even though the vacuum is plugged in nearby and has clearly seen some use; I expect you'll notice the nose-smudges on the sliding glass doors when you go over to take in the view and please be careful not to trip over that Kurunda bed by the doors -- that's the kitties' fave hangout spot to watch the dogs and donkeys romp outside.
* if you don't want to hang out with the critters, we'll go sit on the front porch. they don't get relegated to a separate part of the house just because you don't want a piece of fur on your pretty shirt.
*HannaBean will bark at you...a LOT. she has social anxiety and doggie-autism and while she is a fully functioning member of this household, she doesn't know YOU...therefore you make her world off-kilter and it's all big and scary. ignore and she'll come around...eventually. if you raise your voice to her hoping to quiet her down, she'll bark even louder and then you'll have to hear ME raise my voice at YOU. if you do it again, you will be asked to leave.
*our critters are good, but they are spoiled. they are not programmed to listen to you if you try to correct them. you are not their people.
The moral of the story is this: the critters live here and visitors may leave at any time.
